Sometimes we overthink too much.

Sometimes we say too much.

Sometimes we complain too much.

Sometimes we feel we will never measure up or be good enough.

Sometimes too much is just too much.

Instead doing too much, let’s just do much.

Do much good with all you have been given.

Do much with those you love around you.

Do much traveling.

Do much reading, studying, learning.

Do much growing.

Do much dancing, singing, writing.

Do much just not too much so you don’t overwhelm yourself.

Whatever you do, do much.

As I look at my life and where I am now, it may seems as if I have less than what I used to have. I used to have tons of friends, now my only friends are the people I talk to at work but never hang out outside of worked because most of them are two or three times my age, are married and have kids. I used to go out to events with my friends, now my mom is the first one I ask to go anywhere with me. I used to have a church family and now I don’t go to a local church at all. I used to be a full time ministry employee, youth ministry leader, young adults ministry leader, praise dancer, short term missionary, etc and now I am a full time admin assistant at an insurance company who also interviews people on the side for a radio show. At one point in my life it seemed as if I had it all. A job, friends, ministry, a full life of all the things that should make you feel whole but…. I was MISERABLE. Absolutely miserable. Looking back at old pictures of me smiling with the people that used to be in my life, all I can see is the misery. Something in me knew I wanted more. There was never a sense of contentment. There was something missing in me to make me feel whole. I was losing myself, my joy, my happiness, my identity. I was LOSING ME. I was trying to figure myself out. I felt ok but so many circumstances proved to me that I wasn’t ok. I hit my breaking point. I hit the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and I decided that my happiness is worth more than everything and everyone that I am surrounded by. Me staying where I was would make everyone around happy but it would keep me caged in a place where I couldn’t breathe. Feeling like I couldn’t be free to be myself because I had to make sure I was a part of the culture of my circle of influence.  I mean, don’t get me wrong I was happy but I was not the happiest. I had a false sense of identity because I was being molded into my surroundings. I knew my environment needed to change and that I needed to get out. God gave me a way out but it wasn’t easy. I’m sure I left many people confused, hurt, rejected, dumbfounded. Yet I became free. I could breathe again. It was just me , myself, I and God. I drew closer to Jesus than ever before and I did not know that I would have to LOSE everything to GAIN everything. God filled me in an emptiness that I did not know I had. I may not have friends like I used to, a church home just yet, or whatever else that I used to have but you know what..I am HAPPIER now than I’ve ever been. I have found my identity and I know who I am. People deserve the happy version of me. People deserve the real me. I deserve the happy me. I deserve to be myself and not being afraid of it. I deserve to be free and not feel like I’ll be judged for every word that comes out of my mouth. I deserve to push myself harder and grow as a woman. I deserve to be the person that I always dreamed of being and that girl is not who I used to be. She was just a glimpse of what could be. And what God will do next will be bigger, better, grander than anything He has ever done in my life thus far. I am ready, prepared and excited for it. So bring it on. This happier version of me can and will get through anything because I know Jesus. I really know Jesus and know him well. More than I used to know.

God is doing a million things behind  the scenes

and you are only aware of three of them.

What is in front of you is not all that you have.

God has so much more in store for you but it is so easy to lose all faith because something isn’t going your way.

We’re all victims of this.

No one is except from doubting God.

Yet God doesn’t give up on us. He’ll show up when we least expect it just to give us that sense of hope again.