As I look at my life and where I am now, it may seems as if I have less than what I used to have. I used to have tons of friends, now my only friends are the people I talk to at work but never hang out outside of worked because most of them are two or three times my age, are married and have kids. I used to go out to events with my friends, now my mom is the first one I ask to go anywhere with me. I used to have a church family and now I don’t go to a local church at all. I used to be a full time ministry employee, youth ministry leader, young adults ministry leader, praise dancer, short term missionary, etc and now I am a full time admin assistant at an insurance company who also interviews people on the side for a radio show. At one point in my life it seemed as if I had it all. A job, friends, ministry, a full life of all the things that should make you feel whole but…. I was MISERABLE. Absolutely miserable. Looking back at old pictures of me smiling with the people that used to be in my life, all I can see is the misery. Something in me knew I wanted more. There was never a sense of contentment. There was something missing in me to make me feel whole. I was losing myself, my joy, my happiness, my identity. I was LOSING ME. I was trying to figure myself out. I felt ok but so many circumstances proved to me that I wasn’t ok. I hit my breaking point. I hit the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and I decided that my happiness is worth more than everything and everyone that I am surrounded by. Me staying where I was would make everyone around happy but it would keep me caged in a place where I couldn’t breathe. Feeling like I couldn’t be free to be myself because I had to make sure I was a part of the culture of my circle of influence. I mean, don’t get me wrong I was happy but I was not the happiest. I had a false sense of identity because I was being molded into my surroundings. I knew my environment needed to change and that I needed to get out. God gave me a way out but it wasn’t easy. I’m sure I left many people confused, hurt, rejected, dumbfounded. Yet I became free. I could breathe again. It was just me , myself, I and God. I drew closer to Jesus than ever before and I did not know that I would have to LOSE everything to GAIN everything. God filled me in an emptiness that I did not know I had. I may not have friends like I used to, a church home just yet, or whatever else that I used to have but you know what..I am HAPPIER now than I’ve ever been. I have found my identity and I know who I am. People deserve the happy version of me. People deserve the real me. I deserve the happy me. I deserve to be myself and not being afraid of it. I deserve to be free and not feel like I’ll be judged for every word that comes out of my mouth. I deserve to push myself harder and grow as a woman. I deserve to be the person that I always dreamed of being and that girl is not who I used to be. She was just a glimpse of what could be. And what God will do next will be bigger, better, grander than anything He has ever done in my life thus far. I am ready, prepared and excited for it. So bring it on. This happier version of me can and will get through anything because I know Jesus. I really know Jesus and know him well. More than I used to know.
Behind the Scenes
God is doing a million things behind the scenes
and you are only aware of three of them.
What is in front of you is not all that you have.
God has so much more in store for you but it is so easy to lose all faith because something isn’t going your way.
We’re all victims of this.
No one is except from doubting God.
Yet God doesn’t give up on us. He’ll show up when we least expect it just to give us that sense of hope again.
Be Happy
We are the only ones that can make ourselves happy.
When we’re happy with our friends, it’s because we’ve chosen to surround ourselves with great people.
When we’re happy with our job, it is because we chose to be in a great environment.
When we are happy with our family, it is because we have chosen to be grateful for them.
When we are happy with our significant other, it is because we have chosen that person to be in our life.
Happiness is a choice.
We choose to be happy or not.
Happiness is our decision for ourselves and no one can make us happy.
Only you can make you happy.
Be happy.
Wake Up
Wake up …and realize that what you’re complaining about someone else is praying to God to have.
The very thing that you prayed to God for, is what you are complaining about now.
When we receive a blessing, we forget we need to know how to manage and handle what we have been given.
After I watched a video of a man who dedicated his whole life to becoming a professional football player but then suffered a great injury that left him with a paralyzed right arm and now he travels to preach about Christ speaking of the impact God has made in him by giving him a new journey to go on, I realized how he has so much joy and yet has physical battles. He is a living walking testimony. His life has changed others and has led people included his family members to give their life to Christ.
Am I leaving any impact with the life I am living? Are people being led to Christ around me?
Wake up.
Wake up and see how blessed you truly are and the things you complain about now will then be what you praise about.
Before It Happens
Before It Happens:
Whatever it is that you may be desiring for your life.
Whatever you believe is your ultimate dream or goal.
Whatever it is that keeps you up at night filled with scenarios of how it all might work out.
Whatever you get excited about just thinking about the ‘what if’ and the ‘how and the ‘when’ moment.
Whatever it is, believe it. Believe in it.
Before it even happens, see it.
Hold it, touch it, grab it, thank God for it.
Even though you don’t have it yet, believe that the promise God made to you is real.
This is not a prosperity gospel. This is not talking about getting something that you thought of on your own.
This is about that dream, desire or goal that God placed in your heart and you are waiting for it to manifest.
This is that business which you have been planning for years and you’ve tried but failed many times.
This is for the single person who is still in the mystery of who your future spouse could be.
This is for the person struggling emotionally and mentally.
This is for anyone with a dream that is so big that it can’t happen unless God intervenes.
Unless God himself makes this happens for you in some divine way that you had nothing to do with it.
Believe it before it happens.
Sing until your miracle comes.
Dance until your miracle comes.
Laugh and have fun until your miracle comes.
Then after the miracle comes,
continue to sing, dance, laugh, have fun.
Whatever it is that you are hoping for it just one small aspect of your life compared to your life’s entirety.
Before the cancer is healed, before the medical report comes back with good news, before your child is born, before you pass that test, before you graduate, before your marriage, before your dream job..Before it Happens.
Praise Him.
Praise Him like he has already died for your sins and gave you a way to Heaven.
Like he has already been good.
Like he has already blessed you with so much.
What you can’t see ahead of you is a great gift.
Go appreciate the things around you and enjoy every minute of your life.
Sure whatever “it” is hasn’t happened yet,
but so much already has.
Free
We all long for things we don’t have.
God has good gifts for those who walk uprightly
but he never said how long we need to walk uprightly to receive those gifts.
We should follow God because we love God.
We serve, not to get something we want from God, but just out of our love for him.
Lay all your cares and worries down at the foot of the cross
because God has a specific purpose for you
and it is your job to complete it.
So release the burden of your heart and be free in Christ Jesus.
Well Done
At the end of your life,
Be sure you can say,
That you did everything God asked you to do.
Make sure you have been obedient and that you did not give up.
Even when it didn’t make any sense, you endured.
You pushed through all the tough, heartbreaking times.
You thanked him for all the joyous and happiest times.
So when you go to the end of your life,
And stand before God,
You can say that you did it all.
Even with some doubt and constant questioning,
You did it.
Well done, good and faithful servant.
What you’ve been waiting for is about to happen
You’ve prayed much.
You’ve cried much.
You didn’t understand why you were going through all that you were going through,
but it all was to make you stronger and wiser.
God was building you up and molding you.
He was removing all the things that needed to leave you and revealing to you areas in your life that needed growth and healing.
He was not punishing you.
He was not trying to make you miserable.
He was doing you a huge favor,
because you have the favor of God.
You are a follower of Jesus Christ and he is going to bless you for taking up your cross daily and living for him.
Constantly killing your flesh to follow Christ is not easy but you kept going.
You didn’t give up.
You pushed through when you couldn’t move anymore and God’s Spirit gave you the strength to do all things.
The God of miracles is about to bless you like crazy.
He is moving and things are being changed and arranged for your good.
See it, taste it, believe it.
It’s here.
Your time has come and the season of waiting is over.
Never forget the lessons you’ve learned.
Never forget the trials you’ve endured.
Never forget how God provided for you time and time again.
He did it all for you and He deserves all glory.
Never stop praising your heavenly father and never stop being overwhelmed and amazed at was He has done.
He’s done enough already at the cross and everything else is just extra.
Enjoy this.
Enjoy this breakthrough moment.
You made it here and deserve God’s joy.
Congrats my friend.
You will never be the same because you are forever changed by the power, majesty and wonder of God.
🙂
“What we run from from is actually the thing that carries our healing”
The things we find to be too hard to face are actually what we need to face in order to overcome those fears. Everything that I’ve been running from has only made me isolated and far from being healed. I’ve been on an incredible journey with God and his peace is a powerful force that exists. He gives peace that the world cannot give ( John 14:27). Even when I think I’ve surrendered all, I haven’t. I hold on close to what I don’t want to let go to God because of control. Not letting go just puts pressure on us. We think that we need to be in charge of what only God can handle.
At this point in life, I can say I’m tired of running. I’m tired of pushing everything and anything away and keeping myself from living of full life because of the lies and tricks of the enemy. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) and if he can’t steal your blessings or kill you, he’ll destroy you from living freely in surrender and obedience to God.Who wants to live their life in fear or be afraid to embrace the people sent into their life? Who wants to keep hiding and being in isolation due to their own choice? We’re not meant to isolate. We’re not meant to do life alone. It is not possible to live out a full life without others involved.
So look at where you are in life right now and choose to thank God for He has you where he wants you. Grasp every opportunity to live to the fullest. It’s not easy but it’s hard if you don’t let go.
Let go and release the control into God’s hands.
Don’t Give Up
You are so close to your promise. The promise that God gave you that you haven’t seen yet is about to appear right before your very eyes. Right now you can’t see it but that’s what faith is. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Believe in what God has told you and know that he is always on time. Why want something too early? Why think you’ll get it late?
God hasn’t failed you yet so why would he start now? Why would he choose now to not come through for you? God is not a man that he should lie. He can’t deny himself and he will always keep his promises.
Keep going. Keep your head up and don’t give up. Don’t let the enemy’s attacks keep you from persevering. He’s only attacking you because he knows the blessing you’re about to have and that you are a huge threat to him. He doesn’t want God’s people happy, successful, powerful or strong. So he’ll manipulate our minds to be depressed, lazy, fearful and inadequate. That’s when you know you are close to your promise. You should know you are doing something right when things start to go wrong that were out of your control.
Trust God. Believe God. Honor God.
Praise God.
He is never failing. His love is never ending. He will never give up on you.
Daughter of the king 