We all have a mission. A purpose in which we are called to fulfill. Sometimes God places people, places, and things in our path to challenge and mold us or to show us who we really are. God gave me a mission this past month and I didn’t know it was one. We can call this mission a specific task. This task kept showing up in my face constantly and I did not recognize it. I thought it was more of a cruel joke, like why would God do this to me now. Sometimes, we need to remove ourselves as priority and look at what God is trying to show us. The whole time I thought this task was about me and what I needed to do to protect myself. The whole time, it was about someone else and the help that they needed. Now let’s refer to this task again as a mission. After a month of crying and begging God for relief or some mercy, I saw what I needed to do. We can put our own selves through misery because we can’t see the full picture. God gives us a piece of the puzzle at a time. He doesn’t give the full puzzle because there are challenges to pass and strengths to develop along the way.

After it was finally revealed to me plainly about what I needed to do, I did it and was changed forever. Whatever was held inside got released and I feel free. I can honestly say I completed my mission and don’t feel the pain I felt almost daily. God was showing me what to do the whole time, I just could not decipher it. My flesh thought it had to do something with me. Our flesh gets us in the way. Our flesh wants to only fulfill ourselves and make ourselves happy. How many of us really are selfless and count others as better than ourselves?

In my month of pain and heartache, I grew closer to Christ. I worshipped more, prayed more, and was in His presence so much more. I don’t think I would have been brought here without this mission. As painful as some days were for me, there’s a new strength, fortitude, and confidence in my Savior. Your mission could be a lifetime mission or it could just last for a night. You may have multiple missions. Remember the ultimate mission is to go into all the world and preach the Good News. Let this be your number one mission.

It’s amazing the transformation God brings us through. How he sets us up for greatness and we don’t even know it. He has the ability to allow u to feel pain, just to draw us nearer to him. He has the grace to let us cry out, wonder, and even doubt. Yet he gives us a peace that surpasses all understanding. He gives freedom in our weariest moments. I just smile. I just smile thinking about God’s goodness and mercy. Everything he does, is for a greater purpose. He does does for out good. He makes sure we are ready and able to become stronger and fitter for our calling. If you have a big calling, expect extreme discipline and pruning. If you have received prophecy, wait for it to come to pass. Don’t allow yourself to be miserable because it hasn’t happened yet. Enjoy your life now and wait for God to fulfill his promises to you. He tells us to rejoice in trials and to be joyful in the midst of them. Real Christ followers know how to fall down, but allow themselves to be picked up by God over and over again. All his promises will come true. All his promises will come to pass. His will shall be done. Forgive yourself when you mess us and choose to believe in yourself again. God has created you for a purpose. Go out and fulfill it. Remember to smile as you do it.

The pain cuts deep. The darkness is hard to see through. Our hearts are fragile and constantly want more and more. We fall to our knees and run back to Jesus. I like not being needy. I like not needing anything. I like not having to daydream. Just live life without worrying about when things are coming next. Is now even a good time to have certain things. When can joy come back? Oh how I need help. I really wish I did have a personal mentor that I don’t have to pay or a church family to pray. Times like these I wish I had things that I don’t. We’re all broken. We all need help. Good thing we have Jesus to help us. Jesus heals all wounds. Who says happiness comes from material things. If life was perfect, what stories would we even have to tell. If there was no struggle, what glory would be given to God. Constantly feeling like Abraham and wanting an Ishmael. But then constantly feeling like David, crying in the wilderness. But then feeling like Hannah begging for grace. Trying to be like Mary and just believe in what the prophecy is with no question. How do we get out of this. Oh yea, be like David and pray. Say out loud the Lord’s goodness “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living” Psalm 27:13.

Psalm 42

For the choir director: A psalm^[a] of the descendants of Korah.

¹ As the deer longs for streams of water,
    so I long for you, O God.
² I thirst for God, the living God.
    When can I go and stand before him?
³ Day and night I have only tears for food,
    while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
    “Where is this God of yours?”

⁴ My heart is breaking
    as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
    leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
    amid the sound of a great celebration!

⁵ Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and ⁶ my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged,
    but I will remember you—
even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
    from the land of Mount Mizar.
⁷ I hear the tumult of the raging seas
    as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
⁸ But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
    and through each night I sing his songs,
    praying to God who gives me life.

⁹ “O God my rock,” I cry,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
    oppressed by my enemies?”
¹⁰ Their taunts break my bones.
    They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

¹¹ Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and my God!

How sweet is the name Jesus

We mourn and groan in these bodies longing to be in heaven. So much unnecessary hatred and envy in this world because we each think that we can be God and decide who gets what. Life is so much better when we stop trying to be you. When we stop trying to be right and just listen. Love is for everyone not just for some.

Anyone else feel like they have been carrying the whole world on their shoulders? So many problems we hear about each day. Every day a new death, new shootings, new riots, new problems. Taking it all in, came make what comes out frightening. You start to have this anger or sadness that you can’t seem to control and don’t know where it came from. Whatever our ears hear or our eyes see becomes a part of us. What goes into to us comes out of us. If everything you take in is anger, hatred, division, gossip, murder, then what will spill out of you is just that. If you take in purity, joy, love, happiness, peace, then you will spill out just that. Our hearts, mind, ears, and eyes are fragile. So so so fragile. It only takes one lie to destroy us. It took one lie to Eve in the garden for humanity to be stuck with sin. She substituted God’s perfect word, for a lie which many are doing daily. Wake up and snap yourself out of it. You can easily wake up from a dream and a mind state of destruction which is a place you do not what to be. Let God fill you with peace. Let him take on the whole world, he created it and knows what is coming next. You will never be able to solve all the problems in the world. Let it go , give it back to God. Pray for your country. Let God handle the world.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.

Everybody wants the promise but nobody wants to go through the process. The process is hard. Being refined by fire will burn, it’ll sting. Some days are easier than others when you don’t think about the pain. Think about how the process is making you stronger, making you better. After you have gone through the process, you are now shining like gold. Gold doesn’t just show up to the platform. You don’t just arrive at your destiny, you go through the journey. Life is not a fast food meal. Promises are not ready whenever you want it, they are ready whenever God wants it. Yes you have been told this before. Gods’ timing is perfect. It’s true. It is not a lie that God has your life all planned out. I mean he did know you before you were born and knit you together in your mother’s womb. You can trust him. You can trust knowing that the God who created all things, knows all things and has all things under control. You may be a mess. You may be felling like you hate feeling like how you feel. Tell yourself to trust in God and lay your worries at his feet. Let him give you rest. Let the refiner refine you into the spitting image of his son. The process isn’t easy but it is worth it. You’ll look back years from now and realize how far you’ve come. You’ll realize that you are who you’ve always wanted to be. You’ll realize that you never missed anything but received everything that God promised he’d give to you but not in the way you thought you’d receive it. You received it his way. His ways are higher , his ways are better. Release it. Release whatever you think you need right now because all you need is God himself. Let him fulfill you so you can keep pouring out all he has graced you with. The promise is right around the corner, it is much near than you think. Enjoy the process.

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials,  so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:6-7